Thursday, May 21, 2015

Why We (Finally) Send Our Two Year Old to School

When we had Michael, his father and I thought that we won't be the kind of parents who sends off their children to kindergarten when they can barely walk, or boast about their two year old who can write alphabet already. Well, we still are NOT that kind of parents, but we DO send our two and a half year old son to pre-kindergarten school.

Even though both me and Hubby work outside the home, Michael gets plenty of time with both his parents. Hubby plays with him in the morning since both boys are morning person who are up and about at five in the morning. I often drop home from work during lunch time to check on him and take him for a nap before going back to the office. I usually arrive home around 17.30 in the evening so I still have many hours to feed him, listen to him, play with him, talk to him, and wait for his father, who is usually home around 18.30.

Weekends are also family affairs. Hubby and I try to schedule our date dinners or lunch around Michael's nap or bed time so we can spend as much as time as possible together as a family. We also take Michael to Church to attend Holy Mass (read the post here) and I already taught him to pray before bedtime and mealtimes; and introducing him to my daily Bible reading.

So I thought, "What could they possibly teach in kindergarten that Michael cannot learn at home with his parents?" The answer: the interaction with other children.

As Michael is getting older, we realized one thing that we never put into consideration before: Michael doesn't interact much with children his own age. He only knows adults. Loving adults like his parents, grandparents, his childminder, our local helpers, aunts and uncles, who cuddle him, praise him, spoil him, bring him gifts, and let him get away with practically anything. Well, not his parents, we are quite discipline with Michael, but we cannot force other adults to be strict with our child, especially his grandparents.

Michael does play with other children sometimes. Children from the neighborhood whom he sometimes meet during morning walk or when he plays in the park, but that's it. And five-minute interaction is not really an interaction.



As he is growing older and smarter, we finally decided to send him to a pre-nursery program at a kindergarten school within walking distance from our home. Hubby and I know that many of our friends rack their brain looking for the "best" kindergarten for their child. They do lots and lots of trials, they research over the internet, parent discussion forms, asking a lot of questions about the teaching methods, etc.

Well, we are not that complicated. Our consideration in choosing Q-Kiddies - the kindergarten in our neighborhood - is quite simple:

It's within walking distance from home.
The place is clean and mosquito-free.
The teachers are patients with children.
Limited number of children per teacher.
The classmates are from "good" families. (If it sound incriminating, I bet all parents know what I mean.)
A lot of play as well as educational activities, no homework. (He is still two year old, he doesn't have to be able to read and write now!)
Last but not least, Michael likes the school and is willing to commit attending the class.

Plus point of Q-Kiddies, they teaches in English, so Michael will learn a second language in addition to Indonesian language. AND, the tuition, though not cheap, is not astronomical, either. And I am relieved to witness that the teacher washed the children's hands with hand sanitizer before coming in to class, and refused admittance of a child who is clearly very ill, coughing and sneezing. THAT is very important!

I wrote that we took Michael to visit the school one Saturday (read the post here). At the end of my recovery time, I brought him up again for class trial. Michael doesn't often wander outside, so he was quite shy at first. Thankfully, the teachers let me sit at the back of the class so he can see me. Several times, he will leave other children to sit on my lap, and gladly, the teachers just let him, until he feels ready to stand up on his own and rejoined his friends without anyone asked him to. His teachers didn't force him to come up or leave Mommy, they just keep including him in all activities, though other children sit with the teacher and Michael sits on Mommy's lap!  


 Michael has building blocks at home, but this time, he has to share with other children. ^__^


After a while, Michael was willing to sit near his teacher, or "Auntie", and let her help her with building blocks. The school limits the number of students to ten children maximum per class, that ensures the two teachers can pay sufficient attention to each child. It's like a family-style homeschool, which I really like, instead of over-commercialized schools.


He learns to sit still with other children and talk to friends.


He learns to show respect to others by keep quiet when the teacher is talking. We do teach that at home, but never with other children, since he is our first child.


He learns to write simple letters and hold pencil the correct way. He also learns this at home, but it's a completely different experience doing it with eight other children and compare his "writing" with others!





After an hour, the children go to the play room and have some fun! Again, I'm a strong believer that children need to be active physically, not just being cooped up in the classroom for hours!




He learns to wait for his turn. Something that will serve him right in life.


He learns that the world is much bigger than he's ever seen before.



We believe it's very important to - at some level - include Michael in making any big decision that will affect his life. So, after the initial class trial,
I asked him, "So, how was it? Do you like going to school?"
He said, "Yes, Mommy."
"Do you want to continue going to this school? If yes, then Mommy will pay for your tuition."
"Yes."
So I paid for registration fee, administration fee, and the first month tuition. Actually, parents should pay for a minimum of three-month period. However, I told the school that I would like to try for the first month first, just in case. Fortunately, they are quite flexible with my request.

So, my two-and-a-half year old goes to school twice a week now, for one and a half hour each session. He has attended two birthday parties, which is quite new to him, and he learned to bring - and give - presents to the birthday boy/girl. He likes the goodie bag he received, he likes learning drawing and writing, and he likes play time. Oddly enough, he refused to join his friends for singing and dancing, when in fact, at home he likes singing and dancing! I dropped him off to school in the morning, and he will walk home with his childminder at the end of class. When I got home from work in the evening, he will show me the class project he finished that day.

After the second class, he suddenly refused to go to school anymore! I gently asked him why, and he said "The Auntie is bad." His childminder explained that there was another teacher who wouldn't allow the childminder wait inside the classroom. Michael strictly refuse to cooperative until they let the childminder in. I know how strongwilled Michael can be - like his Mommy and Daddy, afterall - so on the third session I accompanied him to school and explained to the teacher that Michael is still new and perhaps the school will allow the childminder to join in - just sitting at the back of the class so she won't interrupt school activities - until Michael feels comfortable enough to come inside the classroom by himself? The teacher agreed.

Then I talked to my child.
"Do you want to come inside the classroom on your own today?"
"No."
"Do you want Nanny to come with you?"
"Yes."
"Then Nanny can come, but she has to sit at the back, OK? And promise Mommy you will behave during class. Yes?"
"Yes."
"Promise Mommy that you will learn to come inside the classroom by yourself after a while, OK?"
"Yes, Mommy."

So far, so good. The "bad Auntie" was extra nice to him that day and Michael is now happily goes to school again. I'm so thankful that the teachers at the school understand child psychology and are very patient. If not, school will be a traumatic experience for Michael, and we don't want that!

My baby is not a baby anymore. This is the first step toward the outside world for him. But even if I cannot always tag along with him for the rest of his life, Mommy's prayer will go with him wherever he goes. ^__^

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Monday, May 18, 2015

Sick in Style

Hello dear Friends!

You might know that I've been summoned to a three-week home rest by my doctor due to recovery from a surgery. As someone who is used to going around and be active, both in and outside of my home, it's pretty difficult. If you've been in similar situation, you'd know what I mean. You feel weak. You feel pain all day long. You get tired easily. And you get bored because though your mind is pretty much OK, your body is pretty much still in recovery state. 

I'm not a doctor, but here I will share with you several things that have helped me to spend the past three weeks in relatively serene, happy, and 'productive' state.

Stick to a SIMPLE routine

Don't overdo it. Your body is still in healing state. However, just spending days doing nothing won't speed your recovery period, either. A routine will give you a sense of purpose, that you have something to do, something to look forward to. It's like "Oh, after this, I will be doing this." But keep it simple so you won't get overwhelmed or too tired. 

What I do is trying to wake up, eat, and go to bed at similar time. 

When you're sick, it's so tempting to just stay in bed all day long. You feel like you have an excuse to wake up late and do anything you want. Well, don't. It will make you feel worse and guilty. Trust me. I wake up around 8 every morning (later than my usual habit, bue hey, I'm sick, rite! Haha!), have a light breakfast around 10, lunch around 1 pm, snack around 5 pm, dinner around 7 pm, and sleep around 11 pm. It's a much more lenient schedule than my normal one, but it gives a certain rhythm and order to my days. 

Cleanliness is godliness

Who has the energy to clean the house when one is sick? Well, I am talking about keep yourself clean everyday. Even patients in the hospital get a morning bath by the nurses daily. Usually I shower twice a day, but during the sick period I only shower in the morning. Afterall, I don't go out of the house or doing any activities that will get me all sweaty and dirty. I love the feeling of being clean and ready for the day, even if I get tired again and nap two hours after getting ready! 

When you are sick, you feel bad. Not getting a shower and slop around in three-day-old tattered pajamas won't help you feel better. Take a shower or ask someone to help you clean your body at least once a day, like they do in the hospitals. Wear a nice, clean, housedress or pajamas. Put on some sweet scented body lotion and brush your hair. It's a way to show respect to yourself, sick or not. You deserve it! I don't wear makeup since I think that's a bit too much for someone just recovered from a surgery, but I do put on some tinted lipbalm on my lips so my lips are moisturized and I won't like a pale ghost! A dirty, unkempt sick woman is very unsightly!

Relax and accept (or seek) help

You might be a superwoman when you are healthy. Still, when you are sick, you need help. Don't be afraid or feel guilty to ask for help. Ask your spouse, your friend, your family, your parents, or if you can afford it, pay someone to help you. Get help to clean the house, take care of your children if you have any, do grocery shopping, whatever that can help you not getting to tired. It's OK. You are sick. You DO need help. You can always repay the kindness when you are healthy again. 

I usually take care of the family grocery shopping and meals, but during the past three weeks, I asked Hubby to do that. I don't complain when he bought beef instead of chicken, I was just grateful that I had someone to help me. Also, I am so blessed that my Mom stayed with me for the first week after I got back from the hospital. 

Don't forget to reverse the role and be the helper to the sick when you are healthy!

Eat

You might lose all your appetite altogether and just want to drink water, but your body needs fuel to heal. So eat. Try to avoid junkfood if you can. Eat your fruit and veggies to boost your immune system so your body can heal faster. I make fruit and veggie smoothies daily and just drink it all first thing in the morning. It's the easiest way for me to ensure that I get all the fruit and veggies I'd need throughout the day in the simplest way possible. 

It is normal not wanting to eat when your body is not fit. Just eat a small portion, but with more frequency. Eating in small portion helps the body to digest the food better. Your digestion system is also healing, so eat one big portion might be too big of a job for it at the moment. Eat, whether you want to or not. 

Take supplement if neccessary. I break down my supplement intake (prescribed by the doctor) several times a day. I take multivitamin with breakfast, vitamin C and B with lunch, and antioxidant with dinner. That way, my body will be able to absorb all of the goodness to the max instead of just overloaded with vitamins and flush most of them out. Too much vitamin is also hard for the kidney.

Pray!

The Doctor of all doctors can heal you! Read your Bible everyday, just a little bit, and have a conversation with Heavenly Father everyday!

Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I choose to use these three weeks as an needed excuse to relax, focus on recovery, think of self improvement in mind and body, plan, pray, read the Bible, play with my son, and not thinking too much about work! 


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