Showing posts with label bible. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bible. Show all posts

Monday, August 17, 2015

Sharing My Bible Study: Put God first

Hello Friends,

I planned to read Proverbs 4, but the verse I quoted today is from Proverbs 3 that I "happened" to stumble upon. In a situation when it feels like everything is in a huge mess, that life - as wonderful as it is - can be totally cruel and unfair; when it is hard to believe that goodness and kindness still exist because it seems that cunningness, politics, and manipulation rule supreme and wicked people win all the time; when you are in the middle of all those things, then it is ABSOLUTELY neccessay, there is nothing more important, than focusing your sight, heart, mid and soul, to the Lord.

Surely most of you know The Lord of The Rings? It's one of my all-time favorite books, and here I will quote one chapter where Samwise Gamgee and Frodo Baggins are crawling up the Mountain of Doom to cast the ring. Frodo was asleep and Sam was staying awake, realizing with bitter agony that for them this would be a journey with no return. They had a task to do: to cast away the ring, then they will die of exhaustion, hunger, and thirst. They were in a mission to save the world, and yet, they would not be alive to live it. The others will benefit from their hard, perilous journey and sacrifice, others who are not all of them are nice nor kind folks. It seemed so unfair. So hopeless. What was in it for them? All this long trek far away from home, facing danger, threats, death, lack of food, lack of sleep, lack of water. So they will save the world. Big deal. The world will be saved, alright, but they will be dead when it happened. So sad. And cruel. Or is it?


Read this verse carefully:


From the verse, it's clear that the writer - some hundred or thousand years ago - thought that winning favor and esteem before God comes first, and before human beings, second. You might wonder why good people get a bad rep, and two-faced people with bad intentions but excellent ability to "sell themselves to people who matter" gain a stellar reputation. But get this: God is not blind, deaf nor ignorant. If you are being good and nobody else sees it, He does.

In fairy tales, the good people win, but in real life, it doesn't have to be like that. History is filled with stories of good and loyal stewards who got banished or murdered by the Kings because of false rumors and manipulation by the wicked ones. It still rings true to this day. But remember this: the real life that we live in, is not an eternal life. We are only sojourners on this world. We should make the best of it, yes, but this life is not Heaven. Bad people may win now, but who knows what will happen to them in the next life?

Some people might challenge, well, what if there is no next life? What if there is no God afterall? What if Heaven does not exist?

Well, my friends. Let me quote from Carl Jung. I do NOT believe that there is God, Heaven and afterlife. I KNOW that there are.

It's not something that I force others to believe, because one cannot believe what they do not know.

And if you are with me in faith, always remind yourself: care first to please God. Other things will follow.

So, if the world is crumbling down around you, if nobody appreciates your kindness, if people say bad things of the good deed that you do, be good anyway. Stay good. Be kind anyway. Stay kind. Because it is more important to gain favor and esteem from the Lord, than from human beings.

Today when I went home from work, this was the sky looked like. Even the most expensive jewel that money could buy, I think, cannot compete with such splendor and colors and luster. Before parking my car in the garage, I took a moment to stop, took a deep breath, savor the beauty of this sight, and thank the Lord for all His blessings, and for eyes that can enjoy this view.

Have you been too busy or stressed out lately to watch the sun set? Try it. And realize this: no amount of man work, corporate work, busyness, productiveness, schedule, to-do-list, artificial make up, branded goods, meticuluous planning, or anything human can do, can beat, or create, the daily occurence, the magnificent daily thing, God-created, sunset.

And that put all things in perspective.


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Thursday, June 4, 2015

Creative Day: Centerpiece N Clothespin Toy

Hi, Friends!

It's June already, which means summer is here, and I'd like to share with you our seasonal living room decoration. We have a corner dresser that also serves as some sort of "foundation" for our themed centerpiece, and this time I go with the "Heigh-ho! It's six dwarves off to work, they go!" theme. Yep. Six, not seven, because I only have six dwarf figurines. As usual I use anything I have around the house to complete my project: 
 
used cardboard boxes to create different heights for the "landscape",
my son's pictured story books to add textures and cheerful colors,
my sage green tablecloth I got as gift several years ago to create the "grass" effect for the dwarves' landscape,
some random decorative pieces I already own: gingerbread house figurines, fake flowers I got from gift parcels, some old candles, some old teddy bear dolls, 
some used green glass bottles to add heights to the whole look.
 
Looks cute and festive and summery, rite!

 

A closer shot:


On another creative note. You might already know that I'm not the kind of parents who shower my child with toys. Michael has old-fashioned toys like building blocks, books, some stuffed animals (he like animals, real or not), doctor set, car toys. We plan to get him a mini bicycle when he reaches three years old. I strongly believe that children will be more creative, have better attention span, appreciate their belongings more, and learn to be more creative as well as use their imagination, when they have a limited number of toys and play with things around the house. I was raised with not too many toys, and even then, looking back, I feel that I still had too many toys!
 
Still, what I witness from time to time is just simply amazing. We should give our children more credit and not underestimate their capacity for resourcefulness. Sometimes, children can show abilities that completely take us by surprise!
 
For example, on this very particular day, my two year old son approached me when I had my snack to show me his newest "invention". He had taken a pair of my chopsticks and created "car on a stick" toy. He waved them around like flags or lollypops!
 

But what he did next taken me aback even more. He placed the "car on a stick" on the dining table, then holding the chopstick as the "center", he created some sort of merry go round, moving the little car toy in circling motion!

Bored with the car on a stick, he got down from his chair, ran outside, and came back carrying a plastic bag with my clothespins from the laundry line. I wondered what a two year old was going to do with his mother's clothespin, then he began to build some sort of random structure with the colorful clothespins. He is making his own lego! Of course, the shapes are irregular, but still. I'm amazed at his creativity, proactivity to make do and entertain himself with anything available to him, and focus in doing his little "projects"!
 
I'm much happier letting him play with my clothespins than him spending hours playing with gadgets! Let children be children, not miniature adults. They still have a lot of time to be adults later on!
 
 
This is another ones of his favorite games. Playing under the laundry line, he pretends that he was riding a bus and he waved bye-bye at Mommy through the "window". Bored with playing "The Wheels on The Bus" - it's his favorite nursery rhyme of all time, by the way - he started putting on clothespins on the laundryline, then picking them up one by one and put them in a small basket. Amazed, I asked him, "Michael, what are you doing?" He answered, "I'm picking apples from the tree, Mommy!"
 
Children have a lot to learn while growing up. However, we, adults, can learn so so much just from watching our children.
 
 
 
 

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Monday, March 9, 2015

Dear New Mom, You Will Do Just Fine Despite...

Bvlgari Handle Bag • Bulgari • $180.00 Pebble Grain Hobo • Dooney & Bourke • $228.00 Dooney & Bourke Pebble Zip Top Satchel • Dooney & Bourke • $198.00 Pebble Grain Charleston • Dooney & Bourke • $148.50–198.00 Frye Alexa Leather Bow Wedge, Red • Frye • $99.50 UGG Lucianna Stripe • UGG • $67.50 Shoe Magnate Inc Who Bows There? Wedge • $39.99 UGG Lucy • UGG • $72.00 Floral Necklace • $32.00 FAF Incorporated Women's Statement Necklace - Coral/Gold (18") • $16.99 Mixit Light Gold-Tone Multicolor 3D Flower Statement N Spike Flower Necklace 1 • jcpenney • $19.60 Asstd Private Brand Mixit Gold-Tone Mint 3D Flower Statement Necklace • jcpenney • $7.99 

It takes me more than two years after having my first child that I'm able to write this. I especially would like to dedicate this post to new mothers who feel, or think, that they are not cut to be a "good" mother, according to some traditional views.

Women who don't naturally adore children

Some women are just crazy about children. They think children are the sweetest things in the world. But you are not one of them. You are not really interested to listen to stories of your friends' children, you don't go "ooh" and "aah" when holding your friends' babies, you feel annoyed when you heard a small child asking the same question 20 times to her Mom at the mall. Sometimes you remember your nieces and nephews' birthdays, sometimes you don't.

And the worst nightmare of all, you gave birth to your own child, you held him in your arms for the first time, and all you could think of was, "Such a wrinkly tiny thing." You have read and heard how a new mom feels an overwhelming love for her new infant. How they describe the most wonderful moment in their life define them as a "real" woman. How giving birth and be a mother is the greatest achievement in their life. And you felt nothing. And you felt bad about it. You felt guilty. You felt like an evil mom who doesn't love your own child.

DON'T WORRY!

I am the kind of woman who have no special memories whatsoever of my wedding day. I don't remember the flower, nor the procession, the food, anything. Same with the moment of child birth. The first time I held my little baby, I didn't remember feeling anything special. Just confused.

These are the memories that I DO remember about marriage. Those times when Hubby massaging my swollen feet every night when I was pregnant, cozy evenings when we snuggled in front of the TV watching DVD, singing happily while preparing dinner for my husband, preparing his birthday celebration, precious times when me, Hubby and our son played silly games and strangled together on the bed and giggled like mad people.

And these are what I DO remember about raising my son. His little squeal of joy welcoming Mommy home. Tickling his little feet and whisper in his ears "Good morning, baby boy. Wake up, it's morning already..." Singing lullaby for him to sleep. The ocean of joy to hold him in my arms without us saying anything. When I read stories for him and he sits on my lap. Teaching him to sing nursery songs and clap hands. Waking up in the wee hours of the morning to nurse him and thought how tiny he was.

The Lord knows what He's doing, and if he's giving me motherhood, He must have planted the seed of love within me. The fact that I'm not the kind of mother with overwhelming feeling, doesn't make me a bad person. Or a bad mother.

I have learned that once I let go of the guilty feeling and submit to the Lord, I became more relaxed, and I bonded to my child more and more.

Some women might judge me while reading this, but I decided to share my story, because I'm sure, that somewhere out there, there are women like me, who feel like they're alone, who feel they're bad moms and guilty, because the feeling of love and bonding developed a little bit later than for other women. Note that I wrote "feeling of love", not "love"; because that's what it was. Love. Not just the "feeling of love".

I am still not a woman who naturally go ga-ga for cute babies or children, but I like children much much more than in my single years. Especially my friends' children.

So if you're a new mom, and you don't think that you love your own child, don't worry. You DO love your child. Greatly. It's planted within us by the Lord himself. It's just that the FEELING of love has not grown inside you yet. It will come. Trust me.



Women who are not domestic goddesses.

You cannot cook to save your life. You cannot sew and you become green with envy seeing all those beautiful arts and crafts you see on Pinterest. You don't enjoy household chores. You think they're a burden.

Again. DON'T WORRY!

You don't need to be a domestic goddess to be a good wife and a good mother. If you cannot cook, just learn some basic recipes. Or some VERY basic recipes such as scrambled eggs, omelettes, frying a bacon, make a toast, and cook up a delicious hot chocolate. You will get better. It doesn't matter that you will never be a gourmet cook or the next Nigella Lawson. As long as you can bring food to the table for your family to eat, either by cooking, by buying ready-made food at the grocery stores, by ordering in, frozen food, whatever, nobody will get starved.

You will learn. And you don't need to excell at them. Everybody has their own talent.

I'm not a good cook and I'm not good in sewing, and will never be. I have learned for years, and I have still not mastered it. But I am making progress. I learn to cook healthier meals, simple ones. My son loves my singing, my husband appreciates how I keep the house clean, I'm very good at being organized, and I'm a whiz in handling family finances. Oh, my husband also loves it that I look like a wife and mother who looks like she cares of how she looks. My son loves my simple cooking and doesn't mind that I don't cut up his carrots into pretty rabbit shapes like some other moms do.

As long as you're willing to improve yourself, you will do just fine. You don't need to be Martha Stewart. Really, you don't.

 

Women who don't ENJOY household and motherhood tasks.

I'm still amazed at all those moms who think that changing dirty diapers and potty training is enjoyable. I don't think it's enjoyable at all! Again, judge me if you will. I prefer reading, pamper myself, watch YouTube, decor my house, or write. However, I keep doing it. I just don't enjoy it. I enjoy being with my son, but I don't enjoy wiping his behind when "accidents" happened. Sometimes, after a particularly long day, I cannot wait for eight o'clock so he will go to sleep and Mommy can chill out a bit.

If you are a woman like that, don't feel guilty. It doesn't mean that you don't love your child. It doesn't mean you are an irresponsible mother. You are an irresponsible mother if your child is all wet, and you just let her cry because you're having a good time watching TV. You are NOT an irresponsible mother if you cater to her needs, but you feel exasperated that you missed your favorite TV show, twelve times in a row.

I get more enjoyment leading management meeting or go shopping or decorate the house or write a post or read a book than changing diapers. But note this: when I work, shop, decorate, write, or read, I do it out of enjoyment. When I change diaper, clean up his mess, struggle to keep my eyes open when making his breakfast before he wakes up, I do it out of love. And I don't need to enjoy it, because I don't. I would have been lying if I said I do. So if you don't enjoy cleaning up your baby poo-poo, don't feel guilty.


Women who are NOT GOOD in household or motherhood tasks.

The diaper leaks. Your child refuses to eat. You forgot to wash the crib sheet and it's two weeks already. Your Mom complained because you don't bath your child clean enough. You look around and see other moms with clean, healthy baby, with perfect hair, perfect dress, perfect house, and they all seem to take it so easy; while you feel and look like a complete wreck. Don't even mention about baking cute cupcakes and decorate them with complicated icing like so many domestic goddesses on Pinterest, you suck even in the basic stuff!

You feel like a total failure.

DON'T WORRY!

Like cooking etc.; I have become better and better at it. The realization dawned on me that now I'm really able to take it to breeze some time ago when Hubby and I took Michael to his friend's second birthday party. The timing was not ideal, because the party was on 3 pm, and Michael usually naps until 3.30 pm then having some snacks then taking a bath. But I managed to juggle his schedule around. Before leaving the house for the party, I took a good look around my house and realized that the house was relatively clean, me and my husband and Michael were all fed, bathed, smelled lovely and happy, all of us dressed well, and at the party all of us were having a good time. I felt calm, cheerful, confident in my ability to juggle everything. And I thought to myself: "Wow, just a year ago I would leave the house disheveled, unshowered, distressed, and anxious. Now it seems all so natural and easy, just like those Moms on YouTube! Hurray!"

It took me more than a year, but I finally became a "pro". You will be, too. Just be patient and keep learning and trying. I remember how wonderful my own Mom has been as a mother, and how she told me that she cried a lot when changing diaper and nursing my eldest brother, because she was exhausted, she was angry to see my father slept so peacefully while she had to be up with the baby, and she constantly felt like she was about to explode. Well, surprise, surprise! Because I always think she is a great mother!



Women who are not very patient with children, or anything or anyone

Children ask the same question fifty times. Children whine and groan and could be seen as selfish monsters because they will kick and scream when Mommy is just leaving him for two minutes to take a bath (or even to pee). I might be in a senior position at one of the biggest corporations in my country.  I am completely able to lead and manage my team. But sometimes I feel helpless around my own child. It takes so much more mentality and patience to deal with fussy children.

Sometimes I would yell and perhaps my child would think that Mommy was going nuts. Then I would feel bad. Sometimes I was afraid of being too lenient and soft. Many times I got confused and frustrated, despite all the books I have read about childrearing, despite all the advises I got from experienced mothers.

Yet I did it. With the help of the good God, family and friends, I did it. I still do. I still make mistakes. I still lose my patience. But I make it somehow. And you will, too.

***

I never thought that I would feel confident enough to write such post dedicated to new moms, because I never really consider myself fit to the role. I always felt that I was not good enough. Now I know that's not true. And if what happened to me also happens to you, perhaps by reading my little story here, I hope and pray that this could give a bit of encouragement that you too, can be better and do better and feel better. And don't worry. Your children know that you love them, like Michael knows that Mommy loves him though she is not a traditional or "perfect" mom.

No mom is perfect. But you are the best mother to your child. And how do I know that? Because when God planted the baby inside your womb, He has chosen you to be the mother and the Lord surely knows what He is doing.

And during the darkest moment when you feel like you can't do it, just know that you can, and remember this verse: 
"I have the strength for everything through Him who empowers me." 
(Philippians 4:13)

I'm linking up to these wonderful Ladies:

Monday


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Thursday
Friday
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Sunday
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