Style N Season: family

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Monday, May 30, 2016

Blessed & Grateful: Thoughts From A Family Outing

I was wearing a batik skirt for the outing. Batik is a traditional Indonesian fabric, made by hand, either hand0-stamped or hand-painted by local craftmens.

As Michael grew into a toddler, I started to notice similar theme on my friends' social media: pictures of them as parents, with their toddler children, visiting places of interest of our childhood.

You see, when we were little, our senses were much more atuned. Any new spectacle, smell and sound will hold us enthralled and mesmerized. The color of a new toy, the cheerful songs of a circus, the feel of petting a neighbor's dog, those all excited us and gave us joy. As we got older, everthing felt much more mundane and even what we used to think as spectacular became ordinary.

Logically speaking, I know that an otter who can count and a parrot who can spell are extraordinary, but having seen them a lot in the circus and numerous shows growing up, they no longer hold excitement for me. I no longer experience the same excitement as I used to as a child.

For that matter, theme parks, circus, and dolphin shows are less interest to me now compared to experiences that I have not had before, such as new Broadway shows and art museums. You know, boring, grown up attractions. Oh yeah, and traveling and occasionally - don't judge, it's just a woman thing - shopping.

A while back, both Hubby and I took a day off and took Michael to watch dolphin and sea lion shows at Seaworld. The venue is only twenty-minutes drive away, and there's no way we would take Michael on a weekend because the place turned into a zoo with throngs of people from all over Jakarta as well as tourists from other towns.

It was a successful family outings, and there were so many things I was grateful for. Very much.

Seeing Michael enjoying the shows.

Poker face. That's what Michael is. He rarely shows emotions nor excitements, well, except when he plays, of course. When he likes something, he will just say with a blank expression, "I like it, Mommy." No jump-up-and-down-excited thing from this child. However, during the sea lion show, his serious face lighted up, he cracked into a wide grin, laughed merrily, and exclaimed in cheerful glee, "Look, Mommy! The sea lion is so cute! I want to come here again one day!" That, generates a warm feeling and glow from deep inside my heart.

A husband who has grown into a better and better, more involved father.

It might be a simple gesture. It might be a small thing to some. But not to me. For me, there is nothing sexier than a man who is patiently and willingly take care of his toddler with such tenderness and manliness at the same time. From teaching his son to punch another boy who tried to bully him during the show (I'm a big believer that anyone is entitled to stand up for him/herself from bullying), to taking him to the male bathroom instead of having to go to the female bathroom with Mommy!

Michael was borrowing his father's sunglasses, striking a "cool" pose.

That we can really, really afford to go there again, and "take it for granted" should we have to.

This might lead some of the readers to critize me, and I have no intention whatsoever to boast. I am fully aware of how blessed and fortunate I am to be born in a relatively well-off family and married to a man who is a very good provider for the family. Not to mention that I myself also have a relatively good career with lots of perks, benefits, and flexibility.

Here's a background. Indonesia is not a developed country. It means, you will find very very very wealthy people here, and lots, lots and lots VERY poor people. The venue that we went to, is considered expensive for most Indonesian people, and a lot of parents will save and treat an outing to the place as a big excursion. Which means, quite often, it's like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to spend such money, which will warrant the toddlers and parents to take in as much shows and attractions as they could squeeze into in one day. To go in, you need a pass that will cover all the shows, and if you don't have much money, you have been saving for a long time to enjoy the venue, not to mention that you are from out of town and most likely if you will not visit the capital again you won't get the chance to go, you have to take as much advantage of the day, as possible. So even if you are tired, and your children are tired, and in the tropics it could be as hot as a furnace, you will drag your family from show to show to get most of the money. Because you have been saving a lot for the occassion, and most likely, it would be many many years before you get the opportunity ever again.

For our family, it doesn't have to be that way. Because thanks to the income that my dear husband brought in every month, and my income, and the fact that we don't live far from the park, we could well afford to visit again should we want to.

Though it was not a holiday, the park was jam packed. We started early in the morning, and at noon, Michael was tired already from only watching two shows, there was a lot of queing and walking going on. He didn't complain, but we noticed. Afterall, he is only three years old, and it was summertime in the tropics, in an outdoor venue. Seeing the excited faces of the children and parents around us, but also noting the worn, overheated, and tired expression on them, yet the determined look that they will keep going until the last show of the day, Hubby and I looked at each other and silently sent a little prayer of thanks to the Lord.

"Michael, are you tired already? Do you want to eat here and watch the dolphin show later or just leave to the mall to eat something?" Hubby asked our son.

"Will you take me back here one day to watch the dolphins?" Michael asked.

"Of course, when Mommy and Daddy have a day off and if you want to, we can."

"Then let's leave and have lunch, Daddy. I'm tired."

So that's it. We blew three full-priced tickets that could have lasted us for one full day, and left. We could go back after lunch, but Michael fell asleep already, so we headed home and tucked him in for his usual nap.

Let me tell you, Friends. I don't believe that money is evil. The love of money is. Money is only a tool. It cannot do anything. We can put it to good use, or bad use, either way.

And reality bites, I am thankful that eventhough we are not wealthy family, we lack nothing and God provides for us abundantly.

Now, there is an example of how we could put the money that the Lord entrusted to us in a good way.

We had fish and chips, New York style, at Fish&Co. I'm not a big fan of spending a lot on mineral water, but they only sell overpriced Equil, so we had no choice for Michael. Tap water is not drinkable in Indonesia, by the way.

Instead of spending money on Easter basket, Egg hunts, or Easter party, some coworkers from Catholic & Christian Community at my office joint forces together to visit an orphanage, as well as donating money and groceries. We deliberately picked an orphanage that is not well known, because the more "popular" ones have no difficulty getting donation.

At first, it seems like we could not collect enough money to make a sigificant contribution among ourselves. I suggested that they also spread the words to other coworkers outside the community. "Kindness has no religious border, " I tried to convinced them. "In my previous office I spread the words about donating feminine pads for an all girls' Catholic orphanage, and everyone, from any religion, gave something that my car was overflowed. I am sure that many many people want to donate should there is a possibility, it's just that they don't always know the way, where to send the donation to, or basically just too lazy to visit the orphanage themselves."

On the D-day, the money collected for donation was three times from our initial target.

It's so good to know that despite everything, there is still a good amount of kindness and love all around us. We just need to seek it and reach out.

And yes, a little bit of money won't hurt. ^__^

Monday, May 16, 2016

Life of Experiences, Not Stuff

Hubby and I can be like two children at times. I mean, look at the collage of pictures taken when we were bored and sleepy, waiting for our 7 am flight from Jakarta to Singapore for our mini getaway.

The end of April is our anniversary, while the month of May is my birthday. We decided to combine the two celebrations and went for this three-day trip to Singapore. If you ever lived in South East Asia, once upon a time, Singapore is well knows as a shopper's paradise. While we do plan to purchase some clothings for Hubby - after all, the last time he updated his wardrobe was four years ago! - I am not into shopping mania whatsoever.

On the contrary, I'm trying to shed layers and layers of stuff from my life, our lives, getting rid of things that we no longer need, clothes that don't fit my body or lifestyle anymore, decorative items that no longer define my style, and yes, even thoughts and relationships that create negative influence in my life. You might know about this new habit I am acquiring of getting rid of one thing per day which you can read here. I don't aim to become a minimalist, which has been getting a wide following worldwide, I am just trying to simplify my life, though many said that is quite simple already. Hubby and I are simple people who loves simple life.

I have never been a girl who loves shopping too much. However, as I got older, I realized more and more that I'm the type who is more willing to invest and spend more resources - time, money, energy - on experiences instead of stuff.

In Singapore, we just walked and walked experiencing the tiny country. We ate. We took pictures. We tried out their excellent public transports. We visited the humongous, ultra modern malls as well as their local hangouts.

By the way, we left Michael home with my parents, who are overjoyed to have him all to themselves for three whole days. Michael and I have this tradition of placing fridge magnets for the number of days that Mommy and Daddy are away. Every morning after he wakes up, he will move one magnet to the other side of the fridge, and when all the magnets have been moved, that would be the day Mommy and Daddy are going to be home again.

Whenever we travel overseas, I always wear something in traditional Indonesian batik. Like this one here. It's a hand-stamped batik dress, with details around the collar, which I love. The fabric itself is not extraordinary. Afterall, it's not handpainted batik. But the craftmanship and tailoring is just exquisite.

Also although we stick to the budget for eating, opting for street food sellers and stalls most days, once in a while we will splurge. This time we went to Ce La Vie, a posh establishment on top of the famous Marina Bay Sands, on 57th floor.

This is Marina Bay Sands. Can you believe that the whole complex, not just the skyscrapers, were finished in only 3,5 years? Ce La Vie is located at the top, on the "ship" part of the three skyscrapers.

Singapore is a melting pot, so naturally one can try a good variety of dishes: Malay, Peranakan, Chinese, Indian, and we tried this one restaurant next to the river at Clarke Quay that serves Spanish food. I don't remember the name of the dish, but it's like a Spanish omellete.

Going home on Saturday late in the evening, we woke up early on Sunday to pick Michael up, as well as meeting my family. My older brother and his wife, who lives halfway around the world in the US, were in town. We don't see each other much, considering the distance, so it warrants a special effort to hold a family reunion.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Love Your Parents, and Show Them That You Do

What I learned during my month of absence from this little blog...

Love your parents, and show them that you do

It's so easy to take our parents for granted. In fact, it's a convenience. Though I had spread my wings and left the nest to live on my own at the young age of eighteen, had been paying my own bills after graduating college, even bought my first house when I was twenty six, in the back of my mind, I always feel like I can depend on my parents for emotional support, and that they will be there for me no matter what.

The problem is, I am not always there for them no matter what.

Last month, my over seventy-years-old parents were sick, and for the very first time, I was reminded that we are not guaranteed forever. My parents are old, and the Lord had been blessing them with good health and work through old age when many other friends of them have been hospitalized or spent their days in wheelchair.

Well, it's true that I had been showing the world that I am a dutiful daughter. My parents could boast to the whole town that their daughter had paid for their trip to the Holyland, and also to Lourdes. But that was only the highlight. the pendant of a necklace. And necklace is not a necklace with only a sparkling, glamorous pendant. It needs a solid chain, in order to make it useful and wearable. In this case, the chain is regular, constant, consistent way of showing one's love. Not just once a year big bang.

Shamefully, with busyness excuse, I had failed to keep giving them regular attention over the past year. I paid so much attention to myself, my husband, my child, my work, my life, that even I fail to stick to my once-a-week phone call.

Well, let's face it. No one is too busy for anything that is important enough for them to prioritize.

Not until my parents became ill, did the reality hit me.

Hubby was being a champion and reminded me to call my parents every single night, during their recovery. He believes that the love and attention will speed up the recovery process.

I don't know and I don't care about that, but I did call every single nite, just to check on them and make sure that my Mom goes to bed on time. Yeah, she has this bad habit of surfing the internet until the wee hours of the morning, then wakes up daily at five o'clock. So I made myself sort of her chirpy alarm and call her every night around 9.30 to rHave emind her to log off soon and go to sleep.

Do you love your parents?
If you do, have you shown it to them lately?

Perhaps you can make a phone call. Or a visit. Whatever.

Just show them. Trust me. It's not only for them, but also for you, and for the Lord.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Week in Recap: Stranded in LA Airport

Hi Friends!

Time for another week in recap! You know, writing week-in-recap posts somehow have become some sort of teraphy to me. It relaxes me. Some people swear that scrapbooking is their thing. Some find that creating beautiful planner pages with stickers and colorful pens is restful for their mind. Me? Writing these weekly post and chronicling my family daily life in blog.

Old McDonald (Ain't) Has A Farm!

Michael's school, in cooperation with our local McDonald joint, conducted this fun, "educational" tour at their facility for the children. I believe it's some sort of marketing tool for them, you know, starting the children on liking the burgers and collecting their toys from a very young age, but I allowed Michael to participate, since I thought seeing the kitchen of a restaurant and what's going on behind the counter is a rare, worthwhile experience for him. Just remember how it was when you were a child. Every new color, every new toy, sound, spectacle, held you enthralled and excited. Everything can be an adventure, including going behind the scene at McDonald!

Michael has never been inside of a McDonald. We are not big into fast food, prefering local businesses and small restaurants instead. Michael is also not fond of being in a big crowd. I notice over and over that whenever he finds himself with a throng of people, he will stand aside and observe things from a "safe" distance. When he feels ready and comfortable to join in, he will, but he's not the "life of the party", "look at me" type, which pretty much was like myself when I was his age.

I skipped half of day of work so I'll be able to accompany him to the McDonald event. As predicted, it was really crowded with forty children or so. Though I already explained what we were going to to that day, Michael was still taken aback to see the new place and the throng of people. Some of the children started to run for the playground, and one of the well-meaning parents grabbed Michael's hand and encouraged him to play, as well. Yet all of the new experience was too overwhelming for Michael, and he didn't like to be pushed against his will to join the other children, while all he wanted to do was sitting beside Mommy and watch what's going on around, so his eyes began to get misty and his lips trembled.

I knew he was distressed, so I politely took his hand from the well-meaning parent and gently pulled him aside. When I asked him why he was distressed, Michael said that he thought McDonald was a new, different school! A week before, I took Michael to visit another school which he will continue once he's finished with pre nursery, and he thought today was the day to start the new school! Of course, then he saw his teachers and realized that it wasn't true! It's the same school, just different place for the day's activities!

After a while, Michael started to enjoy himself, looked around, and sat with his friends in the restaurant multi-function room. Some of the children continued to cry and refused to be put down by the parents or childminders, so it was a chaotic circus! Luckily, once he's settled, Michael didn't mind me leaving him and just watching him from the windows.

The activity started with a tour to the kitchen. Sure, it's not the whole kitchen! Just the front part, right behind the counter with the slush and ice cream machine. The McDonald tour guide explained patiently to the curious children (and parents) on how to operate the cashier machine, the slush machine, and the ice cream machine. Every child was given an opportunity to make his own ice cream cone, too! Michael is not really into ice cream. I knooooow.... Actually, he's not into anything cold like iced drinks or anything like that. He prefer drinking lukewarm water or milk, though sometimes he will drink some iced tea. He licked the ice cream a bit, but he proudly gave most of the ice cream he made to his Mommy!

After the kitchen tour, the children had a coloring contest. The winner will get cool McDonald toys and knick-knack as gifts. Here I witnessed how some parents would do anything to ensure that their children would be "winners". Or they just wanted to spare the children from any troubles. Anything, including helping the children with the coloring! Some even went the whole nine yards, did the whole coloring thing while the children just watched.

I remember when I was little, first grade of primary school, if I remember correctly. I was slow at taking notes. Quite often, after class, I would have to stay behind to finish copying class notes of the day from the blackboard to my notebook. I remember vividly that I often stayed behind alone, yet not alone. How? The others who stayed behind the finish the unfinished work were the parents, not the children. The parents would finish the work that their children failed to finish, instead of letting the children dealing with it on his or her own. I don't know why. There are many, different ways to raise a child, none of them I would judge superior or lesser than the other. However, for my child, I would stick to the way my parents raised me: letting me deal with my own problems, letting me finish my own task. Only when I really really need help, they would eventually get down and dirty with me, helping me tackle the job that I couldn't do on my own.

One of Michael's close friends at school is this beautiful little girl, Aggie. She is as cute as a China doll, with slanted eyes, and surprisingly big, booming voice for such a small stature. Look at how cute they sat side by side, coloring together! Both were anti-mainstream, refusing to use yellow and red pencils - the McDonald's theme colors - , opting for their own liking instead!

The next activity was "making your own burger". Such a fancy title for simple activities of assembling two pieces of buns, a slice of cheese, and a piece of burger patty, but hey, the children were having fun! They were required to wear disposable plastic gloves; and were allowed to bring the finished burger home in a paperbag. I guess Michael was hungry since he immediately took a bite of the burger, but bless his little heart, he made a funny face and refused to eat another bite. Perhaps after only eating real, healthy, homemade food since he was very little, Michael's taste bud automatically dislike anything... not real (you know what I mean, no offense to McDonald!) My little guy doesn't like the taste of fast food, praise the Lord! His father ended up eating up the whole burger.

When the teacher paraded the toddlers in line, I realized one thing: my baby is the tallest of the bunch. He looked like a slim, gangly tall tree among shorter ones. It's odd to me, his mother, since at home he's always the smallest one. At home he looks like a tiny tiny baby, ok, toddler, and here in class he suddenly looked very tall among classmates. I know that Michael is tall for his age. Hey, his father and mother ARE tall, so naturally he is, but I'm always caught by surprise when seeing him with other children on how tall he really is.

This was Michael with his two friends: Kevin and Aggie. And yes, that's the face they made when the teacher said "Cheese!" These three are good friends, and I notice that they almost always stick together like coffee, cream and sugar. ^__^

Miscellanous Gifts

I started taking bee products vitamins several months ago and so far have been happy with the result and change in my body. I decided to buy some for my parents, since the products have been doing well to my health. I bought three products: bee pollen for energy, propolis to increase the immune system, and royal jelly for regeneration. They're kind of expensive, but I think it's better to spend money to maintain our health than later on when we're sick! The products were sold with multilevel marketing strategy, which I usually stayed away from. Once I reaped the benefit, I turned into a believer. I'm sure there are many very good products out there from other natural ingredients. Lord has provided a lot of health benefits from nature products, but for now I consume this with my usual multivitamin. Johan, a high school friend, was the one who introduced me to this product.

Hubby was out of town for office outbond activity, and they would have a type of gift exchange, Secret Santa thing, so I wrapped two brand new formula containers in used newspapers wrapping. We don't read paper news anymore, but the office provided the papers to wrap the gifts in. The recipient is a mother to a very young baby, that's why I chose the particular gift for her, thought she could use them. Even if she breastfeeds, she could use the jar to keep little snacks later on for the baby.

One of the coworker celebrated her birthday, so I wrapped another gift, a Victoria's Secret body lotion, in this pretty pink gift bag with baby pink bow on it. The gift bag was recycled actually, I received it during my birthday, but I don't see any sense in throwing away perfectly good gift bags! So I just reuse them. I for sure, won't mind receiving recycled or reused gift bags! I love giving out gifts, so picking out, preparing, and wrapping gift is an activity that I enjoy.

The Best Noodle Shop in Town

I have a friend from college who lived in a neighborhood close to mine, Peggy. She knows that our family loves trying out new noodle shops, hence she recommended her favorite one, called Mie Alot. She said, it's "Really really delicious!" She did warned that people outside her neighborhood have not yet find this yummy gem, since the shop is not located on the main street where most of the restaurants lined up.

We did go there, and boy, how she did not exagerate! The noodle is homemade, and so far it was the best noodle we have ever tasted! I didn't really like the wonton, but it was the noodle that turns out to be a champ. It's not often we would go over to the same noodle shop two weeks in a row, but even Hubby agreed that this one is a winner that we should visit regularly! Unfortunately, Michael was not impressed with Mie Alot. Oh well...

It's pretty mundane, I know, but I want to document the time when we "found the best noodle shop in town"! Haha!

Stranded in LA Airport

My parents make a trip to the US every year to visit my brother. I think they've been visiting the US fifteen times now. Maybe twenty, I lose count. They started making the annual trip when my brother and I went to college in Texas, and since my brother and his wife still live in the US, they still make the annual trip, unless they come home to Indonesia for holiday.

This year is just the same. Actually they were supposed to arrive the next day, yet an incident happened that created a humongous stress for all of us: my parents, me, Hubby, my brother, and his wife. We were having an afternoon date - Hubby and I - having tea and sandwiches, at our favorite place, La Fountaine at the five star Grand Hyatt Hotel. It was a rare treat since the place is expensive. We basically pay for the elegant, quiet, opulent yet comfortable and welcoming ambiance; not the food. The view has a price tag too, I guess, since it overlooks one of the most iconic hallmark of Jakarta.

In short, we were having a nice time, chatting quietly and companionably, when my cell phone rang. My brother called and talked in rapid fire speed that my parents are stranded in LAX airport and they're running out of cell phone credit. I was supposed to run to the nearest ATM machine and buy them electronic credit so they can make phone calls. I did, but calling my brother back is another struggle since none of our phones have international calling plan.

We still don't know what's going on. My parents had a confirmed ticket for Cathay Pacific business class seats - a surprise gift from my brother because they usually fly coach - , and the system said that there is no such reservation. Hello? Then how come the same system emailed the tickets to them two months earlier? Anyhow, my parents were forced to spend two nights at a hotel inside of hotel, while my brother had to fly from Seattle to LA to take care of things. They finally got on board with Japan Airlines, which is a good carrier, but it's just too bad since Cathay has a better business class to my personal opinion. The money spent on this broohaha is quite a lot, but the stress and the waste of time is quite another. My brother said he's going to sue, and I do sure hope that he really will! It's just exasperating, especially since my parents are seniors over seventy and all the unneccessary stress definitely tired them out!

US Haul from Costco, Payless, Walmart, and Half Price Book Store

Anyway, thank the Lord that they finally made it OK to Jakarta. They arrived at one o'clock in the morning on Saturday, so Hubby said he would pick them up to the airport. I was feeling a bit sick, so Hubby said I should just stay at home and sleep, but I insisted to go with him to the airport. I'm just glad that my parents were okay!

My parents brought home a lot of presents for us. Since I particularly said that I don't want anymore clothes nor purses - I have enough of them to last me for years and years - my parents brought a lot of clothes for Michael instead, seventeen pieces of them (whoa), all from Carter's brand that they bought at Costco.

Just look at them, aren't they just adorable!! Some of them are of bigger sizes, so I just keep them for next year. They are so colorful, they look like candy store from my childhood. A rainbow of colors, with burst of cute patterns and textures that scream innocence, cheerfulness, and joy. That's how children clothes are supposed to be, at least in my personal opinion. I'm not a supporter of profanity emblazoned on children's clothes, or anyone's clothes, actually!

For me, this is all I need. Vitamins are very expensive in Indonesia, so whenever my parents go to the US, we always stock up. I didn't ask for Suave body lotion, my Mom bought it for herself, but I snatched it. Why? Because I know my Mom and how she operates. Mom is not a girlie girl like me, she doesn't really care about how she looks as long as she is clean and fresh. In the past, we have shared bounty of body butter and body lotions that she or my sister in law brought from the US, or some expensive lotions that I got as gifts. A year later, when I visited her in my hometown, all the pretty-packaged, sweet smelling, expensive, fancy lotions were pretty much almost untouched! So I asked her, "Mom, are you going to use, and I mean really really, use this lotion?" And she answered meekly, "Well, maybe once in a while..." There it goes to my stash. I could finish the big bottle in no time because I use body lotion twice a day after shower. Every single day except when I'm sick.

My brother spoiled both my parents with new shoes and sport shoes. Mom even got three pairs of new exercise shoes: one pair in blue, another in grey, and one pair with this pretty flowers on them! I like them so much that Mom finally gave them to me, along with some cute socks. Thanks, Mom! I love! I wish I had them before I vacationed to Europe last summer so I could wear them with my summer dresses! Well, there's always next trip... ^__^

Just look at these beauties! It's like having spring on your footsteps!

Being a boy, Michael was happy to receive so many cute clothes, but he didn't pay much attention to them. Instead, he prefer to rumsack the board games my parents got us. Well, actually I gave some money to my parents to buy all those things, but Mom said my brother paid for some of the gifts. Thank you, Big Brother!

I asked for two board games: Monopoly and The Game of Life. Board games are quite expensive here in Indonesia. The ones Mom bought was half priced since she got them at thrift store. My squeaky clean sister in law had painstakingly wiped them all with alcohol to disinfect them, so thank you, Soso! (Soso is sister in law in Indonesian Chinese term)

In addition, Mom bought a Scrabble for Toddler for Michael. What a good idea! Michael is learning his alphabets now, and having a Scrabble will definitely help! Here he's playing with Grandma! It does my heart good to see the two different generation together, a sure guarantee of the continuity and beauty of life.

We are so thankful that Mom and Dad made it home alright. We are still waiting for the result of my brother's filing complaints with the aviation company, but overall, we're pretty much relieved that all ends well. Praise the Lord.

I'm linking up to these wonderful Ladies:

Monday