Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Week in Recap: Pleasing Our Husbands, Yay or Nay?

Hi Friends!
 
 
Another week, another week in recap! I'm so thankful of the simple life that God has given me and my little family, and we unwrap each day as a special gift from the Lord, tied with a sunshine ribbon!
 
We started last Saturday morning with gathering up our recycleable trash for pick-up day. In Indonesia, recycling is not that common, hence separating our trash is not a common activity either. By no means I try to show off on social media, but I do make a point to capture it with picture and post what we are doing on my personal Facebook for my friends to see. Why? Since the first time I posted our green efforts to lessen our household waste, some friends have shown interest to try that, too! So I thought, why not try to post it out there so if anyone wants to do something for the environment by reducing their waste, they can get inspired from my posts and message me about where to call the nearest recycling facilities! I have to say, though, that I offered a friend who owns a restaurant near my house if she wants the recycling facility to come over to her restaurant to pick up mineral water bottles left by customers, and she didn't respond. Well, everyone has their own thoughts, of course. Still, even I encouraged just one person to start recycling their waste, it's a huge success!
 
This is our dry trash from the previous week that I collected in an old plastic laundry basket. I wouldn't call it our zero waste effort, because it's waaaaayyyy far from zero waste.
 
 
In the evening, our little family went to Mass as usual. It's a family ritual that we all enjoy. Michael used to refuse to go to Church, because he got bored; but after several times, he began to enjoy the time we spend worshipping together as a family, and now he's looking forward to Church time! His favorite hum song is "Our Father", or the Lord's prayer. When we go to Church, I deliberately don't bring any special toy for Michael. Nor do we allow him to play with my cell phone when he gets bored. We want him to know that Church is time for worship, not for toys nor gadgets. We allow him to sing softly to himself, or play or move around - he's not even three years old, let's be realistic here - but we make sure he knows that going to Church is a time for worship.
 
 
Wearing proper shoes is a must when we go to Church. We dress up for job interviews and date nights and parties, why don't we dress up for feast held by the Lord?
 
 
Hubby was having a crazy time at work, so naturally he was feeling a little bit stretched out and needed a break. We are pretty much homebodies who usually only roam around the neighborhood on the weekend, but on this particular Saturday night, he wanted to go out and "have a good time like free young people". So after Church, we told the childminder that we were going out for a night on the town. I even changed my outfit to something more festive. This dress had not seen the light of day - or night - for several years now, and I was delightfully surprised that it still fits me! I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get into it, since I had gain some weight after having Michael. Afterall, I'm almost 40 and my metabolism has slowed down compared to when I was a twenty-something year old single woman.
 
We went to a glitzy restaurant/pub downtown, Social House. It was jampacked with young people, not-so-young-people, and what I'd call "glamorous creatures of Jakarta". Since there were only the two of us, we were able to get a table right away. We were seated at a table on the way to the exit, so while we were there we could people watch, which was fun. I love seeing the glamourous women (and girls) all looked so dolled up. All the women wore high heels, and from where I sat, I could see that some women really master the art of walking in heels, but some walked clumsily or military style like a robot! It was entertaining and amusing at the same time. I myself have long ago abandoned trying to twirl in a pair of stilletos, choosing wedges or lower heels instead. Three-inch heels is maximum height for me. Luckily, I'm pretty tall for a woman, so I don't need sky-high heels to stand out in a crowd, literally.
 
As you can see here, even my evening outfit is not that revealing. Like high heels, I long ago have left any desire to show too much skin even when going clubbing.
 
We already had a satisfying dinner at home, so Hubby just had some wine, me some iced tea (I don't care for alcoholic drink), and between the two of us, shared a plate of enoki mushroom snack. The food was okay but overpriced. Well, we came to such a place more for the vibe and ambiance, not for the food! And Hubby definitely had a good time. He tried a new wine that he had not tried before, from Chile.
 
Did I really want to go out? Not really. Still, that sweet Hubby of mine almost never asked for anything, so I wanted to please him and agreed to what he wanted to do.
 
 
On Sunday morning, Michael wanted to see "horsey", so went to the nearest mall so he could see, well, Horsey. Actually it's, well, they're colorful wooden carousel horses at a cake shop named Collette and Lola, not real horses! The T-shirt Michael wore in this picture was a gift from my brother, emblazoned with both our - me and my brother's - almamater: Texas A&M University. I'm a proud Aggie momma!

 
 
Hubby still had the itch to go out in the late afternoon, so off we went to a nearby coffeeshop. We found it several years ago, and Hubby had wanted to try the place out. He is a coffee lover. I'm not, but I know that any coffee shop will sell hot chocolate, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE hot chocolate and won't mind trying new places, so I was gladly obliged. Well, not gladly. Actually I much prefer to stay home. Afterall, we went out until late the night before.
 
I'm glad I did, though, because we ended up finding a new favorite place to hang out. The place called Oke Coffeeshop, which also a Chinese restaurant, located in a modest home near our neighborhood. It's located next to one of our favorite noodle shop, so it was odd that we've been going there for years, and not once we thought to give this place a try.
 
It is a family business, and the proprietor, a man about fifty years old, welcomed us warmly. The daughter of the family gave us the menu for the Chinese food, and we politely declined, explaining that we just wanted some coffee. It was about three in the afternoon, not lunch time anyway.
 
Apparently, for coffee, there was no menu. We were ushered to the front porch where we could select the type of coffee bean that we wanted. They had plenty, stored in individual containers, and when we opened the containers, the smell of coffee bean was just heavenly.
 
 
The shop also had cute traditional coffee pots like these.
 
 
The owner prepared the coffee himself. I ordered hot chocolate, that I must say, tasted very very good!
 
 
This is how the shop served their coffee to customers.
 

 
In the evening, Hubby STILL wanted to go out. So we ended up going to a new noodle shop that we stumbled upon. Michael came with us, and even the little man of mine agreed that the noodle was really good. I didn't take pictures of the noodle shop, but it was called Lake Toba Noodle Shop. You can tell from this post that during hard time, Hubby is the kind who release his stress by going out and about. On the other hand, I am the type who prefer to stay home.
 
During the week, Hubby came home from work very late every night. He didn't reach home until around 10 pm that he missed seeing Michael before bedtime. Fortunately, he didn't have to arrive at work at eight on the dot, so he could still sneak in some time to play with Michael in the morning before leaving for work.
 
In the middle of the week I took these two selfies and sent them to him. That's the beauty of technology and chat messaging! It's like, sending smiles to my husband. He said he loved it, that it made his day that I was so attentive and caring. So it's not vanity alone that I often take selfies! Well, not often, just sometimes.
 
Well, what do you think? Do you think I'm trying to please my husband too much? What do you think about trying to please our husbands when we are able to do so? Is it a yay or a nay?

 
 
I'm linking up to these wonderful Ladies:

Monday


Tuesday

Wednesday


Thursday


Friday

Saturday

Sunday


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Monday, July 28, 2014

Serene Sunday Menu: Asparagus With A Bit of Butter

stylish mom, fashionista mom, what i wore to work, working mom, career woman

stylish mom, fashionista mom, what i wore to work, working mom, career woman

stylish mom, fashionista mom, what i wore to work, working mom, career woman

stylish mom, fashionista mom, what i wore to work, working mom, career woman

Yesterday, I did some browsing and stumbled upon a post in which the writer wrote that she's happily married, no apology. I liked that article very much, but unfortunately I can't find it again so regretfully I cannot share it here with you, Friends. :(

I googled "happily single" and came up with 105,000,000 results.
I googled "happily married" and came up with 43,500,000 results.

And most of them are "how to" articles. Hmmmm... it seems in Google world there are more advise readily available on how to be happily single compared to how to be happily married. Still, I agree with the aforementioned writer. We don't need to apologize for being happy. In any state of life.

Several years ago, I could honestly and proudly announce that I was happily single, with no apology. Now, I can honestly and proudly announce that I am happily married, with no apology.

I am so thankful that God has been so kind and has been sending me gifts, one by one, everyday, sent in pretty package of love, happiness and faith, wrapped with ray of sunshine (or rain) every morning when I wake up. He has been granting me with all those, in every state He happened to place me in this life. As a child. As a daughter and as a sister. As a teenager. As a college student living alone in a foreign country. As a single woman. As a wife. As a mother.

As a single woman, I didn't need to apologize that:
  • I could spend the weekend partying then crawl under the blanket and read novels and order pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner if I want to.
  • I was free to travel and not worrying about having someone to take care of my children.
  • I didn't have to fight with my husband and how he always leave the toilet seat opened, since I had no husband.
  • I could live a life very much customized just for me because I don't need to compromise with anyone. Hey, I lived alone, so I can garnish all my apartment in pinks and ruffles if I wanted to!
  • I often skip weddings and family gatherings because I always got asked "When will be your turn?"

With all the ups and downs, all the loneliness and fending for yourself, all the worries and fears about the future, I was happy being single.

Yes, there is such thing as being happily single. So, if you're single, enjoy, be happy. Because it is a happy stage of life. No apology.

Now, I also don't need to apologize that I am married, and I am happy. I don't need to apologize that:
  • I have someone to hold me every night and tell me I'm beautiful even when my hair is toussled and my face is greasy.
  • I have someone who says to me over and over when I've had a hard day at work: "Don't worry, Honey. You can stop working anytime you want to. I will take care of us."
  • I have less time to hang out because my priority has shifted and I have a baby and a grown up man who demand a lot of my time and attention.
  • I'm less fun and wild and free and more boring because, well, somehow playing hide-and-seek with a toddler has become more appealing to me than hanging out at the hippest trendy bar in town.
  • Sometimes my Mom said I'm moodier now compared to my single years, because now my mood also got influenced by another person: my husband, and he doesn't have naturally sunny disposition like me!
With all the ups and downs, all the fights and compromises, all the heartaches and complexities, I am happy being married.

Yes, there is such thing as being happily married, no matter what the pop culture dictates. So, if you're married, enjoy, be happy. Because it is a happy stage of life. And if you think I'm not qualified enough to say that, because I've only been married for two years, well, my parents have been married for forty seven years, and they are still happily married. No apology.

Don't succumb into what the pop culture told you. There are different stages of life and each of them has their own beauty and joy. Even in the dark stage called a divorce. Of course we should not aim for a divorce, but even a friend of mine who got divorced is much more happier now than when she was married. Another friend who got divorced several years ago is now happily married again and moved to another country to be with her new husband.

Everyone has their burdens and joy. Let us write our life story in neat pencil, and let God edit it with an eraser and a pen, colors, stickers, and pictures, to make it even more beautiful. Be happy with no apology.

So this my life in the office, which doesn't look much different than my single years...

stylish mom, fashionista mom, what i wore to work, working mom, career woman

And this is my life now as a happily married wife and mother of a toddler. These pictures were taken on a lazy Sunday some time ago.

My little token of love and wifey duty: stocked up Hubby's personal care supplies.

Well, these men's toiletries and bath products would have never made it into my grocery list in the past, but now they do! Hubby admitted that he has become so spoiled now, he never has to think about what to eat for dinner or run out of soap, because I take care of all those! It's quite odd how doing little things like these can make a woman feels so wifey-ish. ^__^


We spent the day playing with our little son and had a lot of laughs.

There is a toddler in the house now. My social medias are full with picture of my boy, and just like every proud Moms in the world, I just think he's super adorable. And I was not the type who were naturally love children! When it comes to one's own children, who can be objective? Haha!


It was a good, lazy, sunny day in the neighborhood.

Now a good Sunday for me is hanging out in my night gown all day, enjoying a nice sunny day in the neighborhood from the balcony. Sometimes taking a stroll around the neighborhood with my husband and my son. So simple. So serene.


Going to Sunday mass with Hubby.

Thanks to Hubby, I go to Mass much more regularly now! It feels good to worship together with family.


How your life have changed after getting married?

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Monday, June 23, 2014

Week in Recap: Everyday (Trying) Being A Good Wife

Happy Monday, Friends!

Every week I chronicle my life in this little pink blog. Every week I pick a theme, and this week's theme is about loving your husband (if you happen to be married) even when he is being... well, un-love-able. 

Here is the highlight of my life from last week...

On Family

On Saturday, Hubby's cousin held a sanjit lunch. What is sanjit? On easier term, it's like an engagement ceremony, but actually it's a little bit different. In Chinese tradition (I'm Indonesian Chinese), a man doesn't just propose to a woman to get married. Oh, no! First, of course, he asks the woman. After that, it's all family affairs until the day of the wedding. Wedding here is not about the bride and groom, but more about family. Practically the only thing I decided for my wedding was my dress. The rest of the affair went according to the wishes of my mom and mother-in-law. You might think the wedding day is the bride's day so she should have the kind of wedding that she wants. Her dream wedding. Well, I think about it this way: after the wedding, both the son and daughter of the families will leave the nest and fly on their own. The wedding is the last time the parents can make decisions about their children's life, so why not make them happy and comply to their wishes? After all, after the wedding, Hubby and I still have the rest of our lives to make decisions on our own, without our parents' interference. 

In Chinese tradition, there are two ceremonies that take place between the two families before the wedding. One is sanjit. The other is the proposal. Sanjit is basically a ceremony where the groom's family comes and pays respect to the bride's parents, bearing gifts of sweets, money, food, clothes, and many other symbolic items to say: "Thank you for rearing your daughter so well so that now she has grown into a woman who will make an excellent wife." On the proposal ceremony, the groom's parents comes and asks permission from the bride's parents if they may join the two families by seeking the daughter to marry their son. We still pretty much carry the tradition, though it's more as ceremonial events. It's not like an arranged marriage or anything like that. I personally appreciate this kind of auspicious event, because it gives opportunities for both side of the families and distant relatives to gather, mingle, sit down and eat together.

As you can see from the pictures, sanjit and proposal in Chinese tradition are symbolized by wearing red or reddish colors. I wore fuschia batik cheongsam, and Hubby wore burgundy red batik. Unfortunately, I had my hands full with Michael so I didn't get a chance to take many pictures, but here are some of the ones I managed to capture with my iPhone. Unfortunately my mother-in-law wasn't feeling well on that day, so she couldn't come.


See? I couldn't even stand when this picture was taken, for Michael refused to move an inch! He also wore a new striped red shirt with jeans and new pair of black suede shoes. Too bad he wouldn't let me take his picture because he constantly moving and would not stay still!


Sunday was Father's Day! We don't celebrate Father's Day here in Indonesia. Well, we should, because we do have Mother's Day on December 22 every year. However, I created this little collage for Hubby. Isn't it cute!


On Marriage

"She brings him good, and NOT evil, all the days of her life." 

(Proverbs 31:12)


For further discussion about this verse, please click here.

ALL the days of my life. ALL. Now, this is difficult. How can I be loving when he is being difficult and un-love-able? Let's just say Hubby had a rather rough time last week, and let's say his words to me were not the sweetest. It was very tempting to snarl back smartly at him, but I realized it wouldn't do good for anyone but satisfying my own ego and emotions. I did some mishaps here and there, being just a normal human being.

Hubby always says how he loves having an intelligent, smart wife. He loves having conversation about business, finance, politics, that kind of "serious" topics with me. You think when he comes home he just want to relax and forget about work and the world outside and enjoy the safe haven that we called home? Oh no... His idea of winding down is playing a bit with our son, then after tucking Michael in, he will talk to me all about his day, his work, his thoughts, his ideas, his plans for our future, our investment, our business, etc. He didn't care much to talk about baby food and child rearing methods. After all, he is a man, and that's what girlfriends with children are for, for this kind of domestic discussions! He always praises me of being logical, pragmatic and sensible, just like a man. Well, well, well. I should know that despite all those praises, he married me, a woman, and from time to time he will need me just to be a woman! A wife who listens. Just listen. Without giving any logical or smart opinion! He just needs me to listen and that's all. He doesn't need me giving any advise or solutions. That, and some hugs and kisses will be nice, too! ^__^

By the way, notice the phrase "ALL the days of her life"? Yes, it means it, folks. It means everyday in our lives until we day, to love and bring good, NOT evil to our husbands. Not just when we are in a good mood. Not when we feel like it. Not just when he is being lovable. Or successful. Not just on anniversary. It means everyday. When we are happy. When we have had a hard day. When we are feeling a bit sick. When he forgets to pick up dinner though you have told him to. When he refused to help you with the dishes because he was "tired" but then he was not so tired to go out with his friends to watch football. When he makes the same mistake, again. When he (unfairly) snaps at you, again. 

Everyday, ALL days of my life, until the day I die. That's how long the Lord said I shall love and bring good to my husband. I wrote about my contemplation on this particular verse here in this post. 

I posted this picture on social media and tagged him at work. People might think it was just another narcissistic selfie picture, but actually my earring said it all: LOVE. I just wanted to give him a little reminder that his wife loves him, no matter what.

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Hubby also received a lot of love from our little son!


On Work and Friendship

God is kind and good. He doesn't give trials more than one can handle to grow. While Hubby was having problem, my situation at work improved significantly. It's still a work in progress, but things are getting better and I have a much better mood and positive energy to tackle things in the workplace. Automatically, it also translates to me coming home with a positive outlook and bounce in my steps, instead of annoyance and frustration. Therefore, I had more patience, wholesomeness and sweetness to welcome Hubby home. Last week he showed me uncomparable support. This week, it was my turn to be the supportive spouse.

I did write that one my responsibilites is managing the penthouse. It's like a homemaker's work, but the home is the office! I ordered some of these magnificent orchid in vases for the penthouse lounge. They are gorgeous, don't you think! A thing of beauty is a joy forever, Mary Poppins said.


My other responsibility is managing apartment project, and I have the most amazing team. We went out to lunch together, on a vendor's treat, at Duck King, and here is a picture of me and the girls. Well, the boys sat at the front of the car and in another car, so they don't show up in this picture.


There were many times when I was reminded again and again that happiness can be something very simple. As simple as trying out a new neighborhood restaurant for lunch with wonderful coworkers who also happen to be good friends. Last week, the three of us, me, Fitri and Fani went to try this just-opened Chinese restaurant near the office, called Golden Pigeon, whose specialty is, of coures, deep fried pigeon. It was Friday, we were feeling trying out something new, and it was a splurge, so despite the rather expensive price, we decided to jump in. Well, it's not ludicrously expensive nor extravagant, but let's say we spent a little bit more than what we usually spent on lunches.

Hubby and I don't bring lunch to work, though we do bring breakfast that I packed for both of us. I have a very strict and busy schedule, I don't have time to cook except for weekends and occasional dinner, including our once-a-week meatless dinner. I choose to spend my cooking priority to make my son's food from scratch everyday, so he will always have fresh food on a daily basis. Things might change later on, but at this point, we almost always eat out for lunch and dinner.


Back to this particular lunch, my coworkers and I have established a list of favorite restaurants around the office for lunch, but occassionally we try out new venues. Some turned out to be a failure, some turned out to be a success. This one we considered a success, though because of the price, we may not go back there again too often. However, I was thinking to invite Hubby to eat dinner there one of these days.


I couldn't resist to take this picture, the color combination is so pretty!



The lunch menu was totally out of our comfort zone: deep fried pigeons, some steamed pokchoy with garlic, tofu with vegetable in delicious broth, crispy Sechuan style fried chicken. The dishes were tasty and different and unique, and we decided that the lunch was a good experience afterall. See? Happiness can be as simple as having good time with good food and good company on Friday. We are so blessed to be able to afford this kind of simple yet abundant lifestyle that is sprinkled with the Lord's bountiful extras on top. We are not in no way rich people, but we have roof over our head, a nice home, a job that we enjoy, a good husband, children, family, friends, and enough money to splurge on relatively lavish lunch - and occassionally on nice purse - once in a while!  ^__^



The interior of the restaurant is also an eye candy in itself. It's simple but cute.


Last week's to do list:
  • Read Chapter 9 of Barbara Kingsolver's "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle".
  • Read and contemplate on the Book of Proverbs Chapter 3 Part 1: Confidence in God Leads to Prosperity.
  • Return original legal papers to the bank's safe deposit box.
  • Renovation permit.
  • Tidy up my writing table.
  • Appointment with my dermatologist.
  • Find suitable flowers for our prayer corner table.
  • Renew my husband's life insurance.
  • Editing my accessory collection.
This week's to do list:
  • Read Chapter 11 of Barbara Kingsolver's "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle": Slow Food Nations.
  • Read and contemplate on the Book of Proverbs Chapter 3 Part 1: Confidence in God Leads to Prosperity.
  • Biweekly grocery shopping.
  • Meatless Tuesday dinner menu: mixed salad (romaine lettuce, spinach, boiled eggs, sliced apples, tomatoes, shallots) with some grilled potatoes.
  • Starting once-a-week weekend oatmeal breakfast in addition to once-a-week meatless dinner.
  • Looking up oatmeal recipes online: sweet recipes for Hubby, savory recipes for Michael and me.
  • Introducing new fruit and new oatmeal recipe snack for Michael.
  • Paying monthly bills.
  • Organize and file Michael's pictures from Hubby's DSLR camera.
  • Organize and file family financial records.
  • Organize and file family legal records online.
  • Taking pictures for post about my morning fruit and veggie smoothie routine.

I'm linking up to these wonderful Ladies:

Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
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