Friday, November 16, 2012

The Fabric Newspaper



Today I counted and realized that I have moved, no, I have lived in 12 different residences/house/apartment/rented room at 6 cities, 2 countries, and moved a total of 14 times. Wow.

Living my parents home after high school definitely has brought me a loooong way. Half way across the world and back, to be exact. And years of living alone. I loved it. I learned to be independent, physically and mentally. I learned to make my own decision. I learned to depend on myself in almost everything, including when I'm sad, confused, or sick. And most importantly, I learned to know and love and accept myself. On the flip side, I grew the habit of self-centered-ness. Not selfishness, mind you, but self-centered-ness, because there was only me, most of the time.

Now that I'm living with someone else, a.k.a my husband, I'm learning something new: being flexible. Let's see. We have different definition of the word "clean and tidy" and "frugal". He loves Asian food, I like Western food. He needs to talk about his problems, I keep things mostly to myself. I like to be alone most of the time, he likes to be with other people and want me to accompany him. I mean, we live in the same house now, it won't kill him to have dinner by himself when I'm reading in my room, rite. Nope, he wants to have dinner with me and telling me all about his day and his thoughts. He is very sweet and understanding, but I have to remind him over and over that my way of recharging the battery is to be left completely alone for a few hours.
So far so good. I'm learning to adapt to his ways, and he's learning to adapt to mine. I guess the biggest adjustment he has to make is having limited allowances every month, since I manage all of our household money, my income and his, our assets, investments (but we make investment decisions together) and legal papers. The reason for that is simple: I'm the more frugal and meticuluous one! If he were, it would be the other way around! So - much to his delights, since he hates working on details - I'm the one to keeps records and documents, keep track of our daily and monthly spending, and read the legal papers like the house deed and bank documents. Fortunately I have had years of experience reviewing those kinds of financial and legal documents in my line of work, so I could do it fast enough.

We talked about it over before we got married, and we're glad that we did since so many married couples fight about money, though they love each other whole heartedly. It might sound not romantic, but we believe that if you cannot talk about money comfortably when you are crazy in love, it would be foolish to believe that you can talk about money comfortably later when the sparks have cooled down a bit, or gone altogether!

Jacket: tailor made. Turtleneck: GAP. Accessories: Singapore. Skirt: vintage find from Italy. Suede purse: Nordstrom. Shoes: Yongki Komaladi.
Linking up to:
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29 comments:

GirlieBlogger@Beauty Fashion Blog Seattle said...

Really interesting and unique print. I like it.

Emily said...

Hi, I came to your blog from Modern Modest Beauty. I loved reading your blog post today. My personality type is a lot like yours. I'm not married yet, but I've wondered - and worried just a little- about what would happen if I were to marry an extrovert, but it's encouraging to hear how you and your husband reconcile your differences. I like how you mix photos of your outfits with well-thought-out, reflective, and spiritual posts. Style and substance :)

Nicole Buckingham said...

You make newspaper look good. =) I really love the skirt and the single red line.

Stopping by to say hi and how sweet it is that you joined us for An Aloha Affair last week. We are live now and are looking forward to spending the weekend mingling. I'd love it if you'd join us again.

xo,
Nicole
localsugarhawaii.com

Marla said...

Great look. Love the skirt and the jacket.

Cheryl Smith said...

I hadn't heard that phrase before about money conversations when you're in love, vs. when the sparks fade. Well said!

(And thanks for participating in the True Vine Challenge. Glad to have you on board!)

My name is Nicole Nolley said...

Awesome! Very helpful info on roles in marriage!blessings...Nicole

Heather said...

I just love this post... And that skirt is amazing!

XO
Pearls & Paws

Lotus Blossom Design said...

LOVE that skirt! xo

Windy City Mama said...

Great skirt! Nice find!

Niki Caron said...

I love that jacket! It's adorable!!!

Gray Skies said...

That skirt is amazing! What a great find.

I agree with you, I think money is one of those things that every couple needs to talk about before they get married. And not just "How much should we save every month?" but also "Who's going to be in charge of setting a budget and paying our bills and dealing with investments?"

oopsgirl51 said...

A very timely post about marriage and money. I'm so glad you figured all that out at the beginning of your marriage, there are enough other things in marriage that need to be worked out. I know, 39 years and counting....I LOVE your black jacket & newspaper skirt. Kathy formerly myidahohome

A Proverbs 31 Wife said...

That is exactly how we are with money! I take care of the budgeting and bill pay and we discuss big items but it just works for us this way.

oopsgirl51 said...

PS LeeAnne I want to add that your mustard colored purse is fabulous. Kathy

Val Sparkle said...

What a great skirt, and I love your jewelry, too.

I can relate to many of the things you said. I could pretty much compete on the number of different homes, if I could remember them all! And my husband also likes more togetherness than me - not only does he like to have dinner together, he likes to eat the same food! We've adjusted over the years, though (18 years), and I don't crave my solitude as much as I used to. Or else I've found it within my own mind.

Fashion Confessions of a Mommy said...

Super cute and unique skirt and love the ruffle hem jacket.

Visiting from Monday Mingle.
Daphne.
http://fashiondivamommy.blogspot.com/2012/11/who-is-wearing-kika-meet-girls.html

Denise said...

Very lovely.

A Joyful Noise said...

I am glad you communicate with your husband and it is good to understand the needs of the other person. He sounds like a nice man and men do like a nice shoulder to unburden themselves on. Allow him to talk, and do have dinner with him, then when he watches TV perhaps you can have your quiet time. I get my quiet time on my computer. Thanks for sharing at Tell me a Story.

Sharon said...

I always say that marriage teaches us how selfish we are. Successful marriages occur when 2 people work on not being so selfish! Sounds like you are doing a great job. My husband was in Singapore 3 weeks ago!

I'm visiting through Titus2sdays.

Miriam said...

Love the necklaces and the skirts - so cool. Thanks for joining us on Wardrobe Weds

Tracy said...

Hi there, so glad to see you linking up on Winsome Wednesday. I loved visiting your blog. God bless
Tracy

Danielle Wagasky said...

Love the skirt! Such a fun print!

Debbi@SheAccessorizesWell said...

You look very, very chic in this outfit.
I too am an introvert and need alone time. It took me a long time to understand this about myself. You are lucky to have realized it much sooner than I.

Nicole Buckingham said...

still lovin' that skirt. My dear friend did a little tute on doing a newsprint manicure. It would so go great.

Aloha Sweet Friend,

The ladies and I are starting to gather a bit early this week so that we can take our turkey loving time mingling and growing together over the next few days.

Thank you for linking up with us last week, thank you for sharing your sweet energy with all of us... thank you for being beautiful you.

Come join us if you please.
xo,
Nicole
localsugarhawaii.com

Becky Goddard-Hill said...

Lov that you refashioned that black skirt do come and sat hi over at frugal fashion and link up

http://family-budgeting.co.uk/2012/11/23/the-frugal-friday-fashion-show-linky-4/

WTFab said...

Hi there, thanks for linking up last week. I featured you on my blog hop this week! Check it out here: http://www.w-t-fab.com/2012/11/sundayfunday-blog-hop-7.html

BonBon Rose Girls Kristin said...

What an uber cool print!

Judith said...

Thanks for linking up over at WholeHearted Home. There is so much to learn once you are married in order to strengthen your marriage. There are so many things I would have done differently when I was newly married and so much I am still learning.

Jacqueline@ Deeprootsathome.com said...

I love to hear about you and your husband and how you are working on being flexible. May the two of you be one and give each of yourself for the other. Lovely post! Thank you for linking up at Deep Roots!!

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